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Name: Rony Location: Hong Kong My life is a musical and I love applause... if even just from the both of you. Current Posts
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street singersuccess out of reach... chasing pavements... Impossible We can be kind Jamming with the NOAH cast... the climb... All things just keep getting better... Letting things just happen
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Some People's Lives
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Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Days like these, I wish I smoked... or drank. I'm not down or anything. I paid a bill yesterday and paying bills always makes me re-evaluate my life. Sure, one day I'm writing about how lucky I am, the next, *sigh*. Work has slowed down a bit, such is the life of us struggling arteestes of the theater, so a lot of my time is spent watching TV. Four shows today got me thinking... Let us begin: Starting Over: If you don't watch the show, it's about women who come to what is called the Starting Over house to rediscover themselves. With the help of Life Coaches giving them counselling and assigning tasks, they hopefully reach their goals. Their goals are anything from losing weight TO wanting to become a country singer TO getting out of debt. They eventually graduate from the house as a new being, with a new attitude and passion for life. In today's episode, Teresa, the lady whose goal was to become debt free, graduated. Now graduating doesn't mean she's debt free, but she had paid off several of her credit cards, was on the way to paying the others, and had jobs lined up for her after she left. I don't know how old she was, probably around 40-50 years old, but here she was, starting over. Here's what got me... during the graduation, one of the older housemates said that she couldn't have imagined having a new sibling this late in her life. It made me think, I'm 27 and am so glad I'm still meeting people. That my work as a musician allows me to meet new people with every project. The problem is, I don't think I get as much out of the meeting new people as I should. More than that, I don't think I'm getting as much out of the old friends that I have! Since my sister left, it's been kinda lonely in the house and I realize that I should be getting out more. I've been rather anti-social lately. I hadn't seen Lana in so long. Topper. Chari (well, she's in the States, but even when she's here, I've been turning down outings). Jennie, Mayen... people OUTSIDE theater... Koro folks... my accounting buddies. *sigh* I think I've become the "one who disappeared when he found a boyfriend". I have to reconnect with people again. More than that, I should really try to get to know people I work with. Everything happens for a reason, i might miss something very valuable if I don't get to really know new people out there. I'm still a work in progress. Boston Public: Written by David E. Kelley, THE most brilliant TV writer EVER - Ally McBeal, The Practice, Picket Fences, Chicago Hope. Anyhoo, one of the teachers in a fit of frustration says "I'm only a music teacher, I can't change the world." Being around young folk a lot, I keep thinking that it's my responsibility to save them from mistakes they haven't committed yet. Save them from mistakes I've made. Regrets I have. But people will do what they want. Why give advice then? I sometimes wonder if I've actually helped anyone with my blabbing. Most people just need a good listener, which I am. They need someone to confirm what they already know. I sometimes wish I didn't care so much, then I wouldn't be so affected. *sigh* But I do love "teaching". I mean every now and then someone does come along and says I've touched them and that matters, it matters a lot. Funny, I wrote about focusing on the wrong things in an earlier journal entry, and here I am, doing the same. Except of thinking about the people i've helped, I'm thinking about those I haven't. Ay caramba... Anyhoo, it was a great episode. Ended with Tamyra Gray singing River Deep Mountain High. Will & Grace: Tonight, Jack meets a younger version of himself (imagine a ten year old saying "fabulous" and crossing his legs so elegantly) and in doing so, confronts his inner demons of elementary school bullying. Quite, quite interesting. Wow, if we all could talk to the kid we were. What would we say? Hmmmm... I'd tell the younger me to not run for sixth grade president, so I wouldn't have lost the election and scarred my self esteem for good. (looks like I need to start over and get over childhood issues). But truth is, everything we do as kids, affects the way we live our lives now. I was teased. Not for being gay, but being a weakling. Never beaten up but being labeled as unpopular (cue Vonda Shephard). Imagine going through life believing you're not worthy of friendship. Of love. Of life. All because you lost one election. Then one day, you grow up. One day you realize that friendships are all around you (thank you friends). That you're worthy of being loved (thank you bubu). That life has a plan for you (thank you God). Sex and The City: Everything happens for a reason. If Charlotte had not had a first marriage, she wouldn't have met the divorce lawyer who is now her fiance. So think think think. If I wasn't an American citizen, I wouldn't have gone to ISM (the only school that accepted me at the time), then I wouldn't have met Michelle Kahn, then I wouldn't have gotten into Trumpets (of which Michelle was a part of), I wouldn't have worked with Chari, I wouldn't have done Footloose, and I wouldn't have met Andrei... who is also an American citizen. Wow... God Bless America! (???!?!??!?! fuzzy logic). Ha ha. But seriously, I do believe things do happen for a reason. Ya gotta just trust that someone up there knows what he's doing. God didn't want me to be with Crush2003 (code name for a born again christian IDIOT i sort of liked last year) cause he was the wrong guy for me. He was saving me for honeyLiPs (code name for the gorgeous guy I'm seeing now). If I hadn't been unpopular as a kid, I don't think I would've worked as hard most of my life, then the habit wouldn't have caught on, and I might not be where I am today - A 27 year old... watching TV all day. I hate paying bills... rhapsody [
4:20 PM ]
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004
So I finally figured out how to load a picture. Turns out, it was probably my computer, cause over at Andrei's, I was able to upload rather easily. So what picture do I upload? This one taken at the Baby cast party...
Lea, my baby, and I 
Let me talk about luck. When Miss Saigon played here for six months in 2000-2001, I had barely dipped my toes in the theater pool. I mean, i'd watched a bunch of shows, knew the arteests of the theater, but I had only done one Playshop and nothing else. I bought my tickets to watch Saigon many many months before the date. Ya see, I'm a huge fan of Lea. On the night we watched, mid-December, it turns out she was sick. One of three consecutive shows for which she was sick! AAAAAHHH! Two 4000 peso tickets and no Lea. Sigh. I mean, I still watched and was moved to tears and all, but I really wanted to see Lea. I'd pay to watch her sing the telephone book. Awww. That same December though, I was asked by Chari (my theater guardian angel and partner in crime) to be rehearsal pianist for Rent Singapore. The show would be under Singapore Repertory Theater but co-produced by Atlantis Productions. That was my foot in the door to Atlantis... which 4 years, led to that picture you see up there. God's good. One day you're depressed that you don't get to watch your favorite musical EVER with Lea Salonga (though I had seen it with her in London back when I was grade 7) next thing you know, you're working with her. Yup, as rehearsal pianist of Atlantis, and thus rehearsal pianist of Baby, I got to work with Miss Saigon herself! Surreal. First day of rehearsals, I'm making mistakes cause I'm so nervous playing for her. Then a month later, I'm backstage playing Taboo with her and some other folks. She, like Bobby, calls me Sofie. Charming. At the cast party, as I was leaving, she gave me a hug. AND she even gave Andrei a hug. I still get all star struck, but she makes it easy. We're not close or anything, but just knowing that these fingers have played for a Tony Award winner and a Tony Award winner even knows my name... Better yet, knowing this won't be the last time... Enter: Beauty and the Beast next year... I'm one lucky stiff. Anyhoo, now that i've learned the art of picture posting, expect more. Yahoo... On other matters, another couple I heard wasn't so lucky the past couple days. *sigh* Scares me a bit really. Had a small tiff with Andrei tonight, but it was solved in like five minutes. I can get dramatic sometimes and I guess I do get angry at small things. At least relatively small things. But that's a relationship.... Highs and lows, tears and laughter, gimme happy ever after... gimme gimme, that thing called love. Bubu, thanks for putting up with me... love you... In one week, we'll be NINE MONTHS! (funny, as I wrote that sentence, he texted me... "gudNYt my sweet sofronio... ur love wil wrap me n keep me warm in d cold airconed nyt... i love you bubu =-) Isn't he sweet? *sigh*) Ok, ok, is the sweetness killing enough teeth out there? Oh well, thanks for tuning in. Got a whole day of doing nothing tomorrow... As for the next three weeks... ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz Anyone want voice lessons? piano lessons? bacon frying lessons?... rhapsody [
5:32 PM ]
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Saturday, September 25, 2004
Guess who's learning the whole html thing? Ha ha... OK, maybe not the "whole" html thing, but basics... If ya just tuned in, my page, before tonight, didn't have anything on the sidebar except links to my last entries and POWERED BY BLOGGER. Now it's quite fancy (i have low standards), he he... I'll add more stuff as time goes by. But I'm feeling happy with myself. ooh, don't trust the counter, i'm sure I account for at least 2/3rds of the people visiting my page... Anyhoo, good last couple of days in the universe. Yesterday, I had Merrily rehearsals, a late evening with some old college friends, an even LATER evening with bubu, waking up in the morning, having lunch at Bento Box, rehearsals, an afternoon of sleep, Boston Public, America's Next Top Model, and a final evening of HTML for Idiots. Am tired na, so I'll write more tomorrow...
Francis, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! rhapsody [
5:40 PM ]
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Friday, September 24, 2004
What started off as an idea of mine for Andrei and I to spend quality time together in a movie became (drumroll please: FENG SHUI, THE EVENT OF THE YEAR. But let's start at the very beginning...
It's Wednesday. I spend the morning watching the first hour of the two hour finale of Amazing Race. It's in Palawan. Because of a mistake identifying the Filipino flag, the team I hate are super delayed. I love what the guy says..."What do I know, I'm just an ignorant American." Charming. But youth wins and in a burst of adrenaline, the team I hate is not eliminated. I then have to race off to makati to pick up a study CD so I let my VCR record the second hour. On my way back, I have lunch at my sister's cause it is also Chloe's 1.5 birthday. Chloe is my niece. She doesn't like me carrying her, but she does call out my name. I'm right up there with "book" "sit" and "shoe". And right up there in what I refer to as "Chloe's Hiearchy of Hatred". This is how this ladder of love (or lack thereof) works. Angel, my sister and mother of Chloe, is BELOW me. So if she's carrying Chloe, Chloe will REFUSE to let me take her in my arms without screaming and desperately holding on to Angel. My other sister Joy is also below me and thus will cling on to her if I make a move. Other people below me are my parents, Luis, Luis's parents and brother... and apparently even "the floor" is below me! Now Chloe's Yaya is above me. So if the Yaya is carrying her and I come around to try to take her, Chloe greets me with open arms. Effortless. *sigh* As I told Angel, when Chloe's affection can be bought with gifts, I'll move down the ladder, bwahahahah (cue thunder...) Anyhoo, so I race back home after lunch to watch what i taped and see if the team I love won. The episode is rolling along, I'm pressing forward a lot, but not too much. Then there's a knock on my door. My 2:30 pm voice lesson is here (shameless plug, I give voice lessons, so if you're interested, write in...) so I gotta unfocus for a while. An hour later, I'm watching TV again. The editors of Amazing Race are good. and so as to not spoil it for those who haven't watched... all i'll say is the team I love WON. The world is good. *sigh* I'm running late for my Merrily rehearsal in ateneo... The room we rehearse in is really hot and it totally affects my niceness... I'm vicious but looking forward to the movie in a nice cold theater in Eastwood. After rehearsals, we're off... ALL FIFTEEN OF US. Ha ha. Event! WHich is cool. I'd never gone on such a large group outing. We eat at Fazoli's. Then head to the theater. These seats have armrests which can be removed so I was leaning in to Andrei the entire time. Thought this movie was gonna suck, so I might as well be comfortable... Ten minutes into the movie, I let out my first scream. And it doesn't stop there. I'm a bit of a sissy... yes, I was scared. There I was screaming through the movie with a bunch of 19, 20, 21 year olds. Fun. Most of the time I would just hold on to Andrei, but at one point, in the scariest 5 minutes of the movie, Andrei practically threw me aside. Oh dear. Next to excellent (for a Filipino movie) cinematography, I enjoyed the thrill ride. *sigh* Luckily Andrei spent the night at my place cause I didn't want to sleep alone... Mind you, I don't get scared in movies unless it's thrillers. Horror movies don't really do it for me, but I was really freaked in this movie. And it was great to have funny moments in it too... shameless product placement! Funny, funny, funny.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! This morning, I got to cook Andrei brunch in bed (ok, it was really just bacon and rice, but it's a start) while watching Will and Grace. We then slept again, right through lunch and woke up at 3 pm, just in time to race to Ateneo for Merrily rehearsals. Rehearsals were fun, the Blob. Then we performed the opening number of Merrily at some event right after rehearsals. Lyrics weren't quite memorized, so it turned out to be a really funny number... Hay... Hung out with the cast, who are actually really good friends, after rehearsals. Got a ride home... And am now taping Starting Over as I write this. Last major music rehearsal tomorrow before the three week break. After which, Chari comes back to take over the show. No major thinking today. It just kinda rolled along. Life is good. Comfortable. Anyhoo, I'm off to watch what I taped... Later. rhapsody [
4:30 PM ]
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Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Since I'm in Merrily mode, let me run through my day in reverse...
10 pm: Went out with my best friend Lana and a close friend Chinie, whose birthday it was tonight. Hadn't seen Lana for quite a while. Andrei and I were at home hanging out after rehearsals, killing time. He wasn't going with me. I was to meet Lana at 10 pm at Virgin Cafe on Morato. True to form, she got delayed and asked for 10:30... then 11:00... then because the group we were hoping to catch (17:28) weren't performing at Virgin, we moved our gimmik to Bagaberde which meant me taking a cab to Edsa Shang (from QC). Then they finally picked me up at Starbucks at 11:45... *sigh* Suddenly it wasn't a mystery why I hadn't seen her in so long. But seriously, once I saw her, all was forgiven and our night out began. We caught half of Nina's set and half of Nyoy's. For the first time, Nina impressed me. Wow. Then Nyoy went up. Keith Martin jammed with him then asked a singer named Rebekah to jam as well. Keith and Rebekah sang "the Closer I Get to You"... and probably the LOUDEST version of that song ever performed. A bit much. Really, when you're slow dancing, who wants to hear "THE CLOSER I GET TO YOUUUUUUU!" Rebekah is fantastic, she just needs to pace her belting. She gives it away so early in the song that it doesn't mean anything when she does something really good. In tribute to Chinie's birthday, Lana went up to jam with Nyoy. They sang "How Do You Keep The Music Playing?" ...gee, happy birthday right? Ha ha. Still they sang it beautifully. It's the first time I'd heard the song since being coupl-ed. Fingers crossed I never understand that song... "I know, the way I feel for you is now or never. The more I love the more that I'm afraid, that in your eyes I may not see forever..." As for funny points during the night. If I wasn't being mistaken as straight, I was asked to play it. Lana went out to talk to Nyoy. I was left with Chinie. A friend of hers who happened to see just her and I alone on the table, leaned in and teased her about being on a date. Ha ha ha. I mean really?!?!? My drink was RIPE MANGO JUICE! Imagine a bright YELLOW drink in a room full of beer guzzlers. That wasn't enough to think... yup, gay. "Will all the straight men in the room drinking a bright yellow drink please stand up!" Oh well, I can still play straight. Cool. (if you can't imagine how I feel, think about being mistaken as gay when you're straight.. charming). Then, someone who liked Lana was around. So I had to play boyfriend. My arm was around her chair most of the night. I was tempted to order a beer and end every phrase with "pare"... (go ahead, laugh). Oh dear. But all fun, fun, fun. Lana ended the night by giving me a book, "The Purpose Driven Life"...Very sweet of her. Told her the other day that I was in a weird place. Not sad, but not as happy as I should be. The book helped her and so maybe would help me. She knows I got issues with God... correction, I have issues with people who claim to be God... or at least claim to know Him well enough to judge you on His behalf. That's a whole other entry... another day. Thanks Lana. Happy Birthday Chinie. 9 pm. Spent a good hour just hanging out with my baby in my room. We hadn't hung out in a while, so even just an hour was sweet. We're supposed to watch Feng Shui tomorrow. I'm really not interested, but I figure, why not? 4:30 pm. Rehearsals for Merrily on its third day. That Frank. Another fun song. Takes place at a party full of pretentious people. As I told the cast, it's very Greenbelt 2! They got it. I'm having SO MUCH FUN with these rehearsals! They take direction so well. 7 am. Spent the morning spring cleaning the whole house. It's not a big town house, but we don't got maids so I hired one and helped out. Nothing like working up a good sweat and seeing everything polished clean by the end of the afternoon. Haven't been able to watch an episode of Starting Over lately. I need my dose of it. They had Oprah on this afternoon. All about amazing friendships. When I got the time, I'll talk about the amazing ones in my life.... later... 1968! rhapsody [
6:32 PM ]
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Great day. First day of music rehearsals of Merrily We Roll Along. We got through, as scheduled, the opening number and seven transitions, which are just variations of the opening number which occur at scattered points in the show to reveal the passage of time... or more the, un-passaging of time (Merrily is written in such a way that we go back in time to answer the question "How did you get there from here?"). Strong cast. I'm so excited. You've got fantabulous leads, each with a quality that is SO their own. An ensemble of good and really good, who blend into a fantastic band of students. See the opening number is quite clever. It's a graduation where Franklin Shephard is giving a cliche speech about life and goals. Students are behind him with their own thoughts as he speaks....
Franklin (giving speech): Life isn't about doing your best, it's about doing the best YOU CAN. Student (aside): No, it isn't, it's doing the best! Franklin: Goals are something you aim for more than something you achieve. Student: It's the old, tell-like-it-is speech. Then amidst the peanut gallery of side comments, the song begins, a song of unblemished optimism. "Yesterday is done, see the pretty countryside Merrily we roll along, roll along Bursting with dreams Travelling's the fun, flashing by the countryside Everybody merrily, merrily Catching at dreams, rolling along... rolling along..." As the story continues, we see this "dream" theme explored. Life. "Now you know, life is crummy well now you know... It's called flowers wilt, it's called apples rot It's called theives get rich and saints get shot It's called God don't answer prayers a lot so now you know..." So the show has its share of reality checks as well as sparks of sunshine. Last Saturday night, I attended the cast party of The Wiz. Once again surrounded by younger people. Funny, at one point in the night, the party had divided into different groups. The sleepy people. The drunk folk. The care-takers of the drunk folk. And there was the dining room, where I was playing Oprah to depressed teenagers. Funny, at one point, my boyfriend (who was both bar-tender and care-taker, I'm so proud of him) walked in to find me comforting two girls crying! It was fun telling these kids things which life would teach them eventually. Whether they understood it or not, at least they heard what they needed to hear... "Don't be the victim in the movie of your life!" "Love is two COMPLETE people finding each other, not two halves." "Love will come when you're ready for it" "Happiness is a choice". Ha ha, I was being Franklin Shephard! But really, too many young people focus on the wrong things. If you sing a fantastic full show and hit one bad note, you'll focus on the ONE bad note. If your grades are good, you're healthy, and you got a family that loves you, you'll focus on the fact you don't got a special someone. If you land in ensemble, instead of seeing it as an opportunity to better one's skills, you can't help but focus on the fact you didn't get a lead. They're always asking "what if he/she never comes" or "what if my moment doesn't arrive?" instead of asking "what if he/she/it does?" Grass is always greener. Always want what the other one's got. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK LIKE THIS? Cause we're human. I do the same. The problem is if you're obsessed with it. I read somewhere a story about a guy who is always caught in traffic for a good hour getting to work. He used to spend the entire hour being really angry at the traffic, worrying about work, and the gas expense. Then he thought to himself, there is nothing he can do about that one hour being stuck there. He has one of two choices, he can spend the hour cursing life. Or make the most of it and spend it counting his blessings. He chose the latter. And that's life, we're given this "hour" of life. While waiting for whatever to come, why not enjoy the ride. Relish the view. Glide through the countryside. It's the only way to live. Anyhoo, I also got to slow dance with my baby in the middle of the garden that night. *sigh* Oh and two people found each other that night. Anj and Jepoy... Am really happy for you two. Young love sweet love... Anj, "I can't let you pass me by I just can't let you go. Let me say the things and say the words to let you know. I would rather say the akward words than lose you. Afraid for love to fade, before it can come true..." It came true sweetie... When are we double dating? To back track a bit, last Friday, my gay best friend came to watch The Wiz. He's plays the role of godfather... or fairy godfather... to bubu, even if they're only two years apart. I finally got to meet the guy he's dating. Wonderful guy and am so glad to see my friend smiling from ear to ear. Princess, I'm filing my two weeks notice. Won't be getting the 4 am phone call anytime soon... he he. Ooh, this morning, my sister bought me a teflon pan! With teflon cooklery (or whatever ya call it) I've never been so excited to see cookware. I'm collecting easy to cook recipes, so if anyone has any suggestions, just write in... Last, I'm in the paper today. Manila Bulletin. Pictures from the Baby cast party. Ha ha. I'm in a shot with Bobby Garcia, Ligaya Salonga, and Lea! Don't mind the caption though which read "Bobby, Ligaya, Lea, and a theater buff" ... I'm the theater buff I guess. Oh well, long day tomorrow. Spring cleaning in the morning. Rehearsals in the evening. Then an evening out with my female best friend, a lady I haven't seen in such a long time. She's the Grace in my life (as my best gay friend is the Jack) Always there for me cause even Oprah needs a shoulder. Later folks... bum, da dum, da dum, da dum... rhapsody [
2:30 PM ]
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5 comments
Monday, September 20, 2004
Decided to go light today. Funny, met the guy I was referring to in my last blog. No comment. Hay... life.
Got this off bea's journal... 13 Random things you like -waking up to rain in the morning -Starting Over on ETC -Summer Sunshine by the Corrs -Rereading old text messages -Bubble baths -Plaid boxers -Walking when listening to my MD player -Scent of alcohol on bubu's breathe -Watching live performances of VHS -Kitkat -Idina Menzel -Hotel rooms -airports at night 12 Good Movies: -Trick (what kind of a girl do you think I am?) -Hearts and Soul (do you know how painful it is to know who you really are and watch you keep it hidden from people?) -Something's Gotta Give (waaaaaaaahhhhhh!) -Beaches (you gotta give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little, that's the story of, that's the glory of love) -Muppets Take Manhattan (saying goodbye, why is it sad? Makes us remember the good times we had) -The Net (all I have to do is press the escape button) -The Joy Luck Club (I died many years ago. I drank opium.) -You've Got Mail (I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly) -Hercules (a hero's strength is measured by his heart) -Object of My Affection (I wanna be able to look at you and not be hurt by you) -Maid in Manhattan (sometimes we're forced into directions we oughta have found for ourselves) -My Best Friend's Wedding (choose me. marry me.) 11 Good Bands/Artists -Gary V. -Lea Salonga -Alicia Keys -The Corrs -Britney Spears -Bette Midler -Cher -Brandy -Josh Groban -Sheryn Regis -Regine Velasquez 10 things about me -I'm a safe eater: tonkatsu, carbonara, iced tea... -I'm a licensed CPA -I learned how to play the piano by reading Broadway vocal scorebooks -I'm sentimental -I had lazer eye surgery a long time ago -I've been operated only once, for hernia -I don't like costume movies -I'm pro-choice -My ideal weight is 150... I'm 140 now -I dance in the shower 9 Good Friends: -Lana -Topper -Chari -Jennie -Mayen -Joshua -May Ann -Francis -Abi 8 Favorite Food/Drinks: -carbonara -tonkatsu -KFC chicken -shakey's pizza -iced tea -four seasons -bacon -pork dishes 7 songs that you can relate to: -You Changed My Life in A Moment by The CompanY -I Still Believe In Love from They're Playing Our Song -That I Would Be Good by Alanis Morrisette -Have You Ever? by Brandy -I'd Rather Leave When I'm in Love from The Boy From Oz -I Can Do Better Than That from Last Five Years -Like It Was from Merrily We Roll Along 6 things/people that/who annoy me: -when people touch my lips with their fingers -tardiness of others -indecisiveness -ants -sweat -people who don't get it, get it? 5 things I touch everyday: -my phone -my hair -my face -my doorknob -the remote control 4 shows I watch: -Will & Grace -The Simpsons -Boston Public -Starting Over 3 celebrities I have a crush on: -Paul Rudd -John Cusack -Ryan Reynolds 2 People I have kissed: -Andrei -Abi 1 person I can spend my whole life with: -honeyLiPs rhapsody [
8:02 AM ]
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Sunday, September 19, 2004
I'm not old. 27 is a good age. I'm with someone though 7 years younger. At 8 months into our relationship, we're way past any age issues. The eye opener though has been hanging out with his age group, college folk. In a strange way, I'm RELIVING my college life, this time as a GAY man, a musician, with a better fasion sense, contacts and nights out. MY college life was spent STRAIGHT, carrying a bag full of accounting books, plaid shirts, glasses, and nigthts at home. So here I am with my second chance at youth, with a boyfriend and luckily without the term papers. But you know the phrase "if I knew then what I know now"? In a stranger way, knowing what I know now, I can apply it to my second youth, thus "I knew then what I know now". There's a lot I see with this age group which they won't see till much later. Like I just learned about a guy whose world is crushed cause he felt he didn't fit in. We've all been there. Why he doesn't fit in, is a good question. I mean, from what I heard, he treats people out, lends people things, is always perky, and does everything he THINKS people like about people, so that people will like him. *sigh* People will like you or won't like you. SO the way I see it,
If people like you for who you are, you win. If people like you for who you're not, you lose. If people don't like you for who you're not, you win. If people don't like you for who you are, they're not people you want to be with. Fact of life. Everyone longs for acceptance. But at what cost? Start from being who you are first and work through life from there. I spent most of my life being what I believed people accepted... heterosexual. And the first girl I ever came out to, Tricia, said it best, she said everyone has something about them which they hope the world will accept. Everyone. Whether it's being gay. Being a woman. Liking Shakespeare. Being insecure. Fearing heights. I think it's possible this guy wasn't accepted cause he wasn't himself. If he just relaxed and be who he was, then who knows right? Instead of letting people in, he shut himself out and blamed everyone else. It's easier that way. To play victim to circumstance. To not ask for help. And then there's the question of who is accepting him. The "in" crowd? The org he's quitting is a big group. I sincerely doubt EVERYONE dislikes him. *sigh* To the lion, be yourself. The scarecrow always had a brain and the tinman, a heart. Look inside yourself for the courage and be who you are, the world will come around. rhapsody [
7:41 AM ]
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Thursday, September 16, 2004
Still waking up with an awful sore throat, cough, and cold. Wondering if I should self-prescribe antibiotics since I'm too low on cash to visit a doctor. Better safe than sorry. Robitussin and Ornex will have to do.
First meeting for Merrily We Roll Along. As expected, a few folks in the ensemble dropped out. Kinda annoying but if that's their attitude, better to not have them in the show right? Survival of the fittest, and the way I see it, the final cast at the end of the run are the true artistes of the theater. I discovered something about Merrily today, which is sheer genius. To show how close the three friends are, their songs are written with a 3/4 time signature or triplets. As their friendship deteriorates, it becomes 2/4 or 4/4. How amusing... (if you don't know me, you probably think I wear glasses and plaid shirts tucked in all the time... he he, not anymore) A college friend of mine texted me today. She's getting married. Wow. More than that, she's asking me to sing at the wedding next month! (of all songs, The Way You Look at Me... for those of you who don't know, I play for Christian Bautista for live stuff. I'd massacre the song). Hmm... This will mark the third wedding of a friend I'll have sung at this year. I DON'T SING! I used to, and now I only really sing to teach a song. The first time was at Clovy's wedding... The Way You Look Tonight. String quartet. I realized I had no idea what to do with the hand that is not holding the microphone. Second time at Jonelyn's. All of Me, live jazz band. Loved it. With my new matrix coat, i felt very American Idol. Hmmm... Now what to sing at this wedding... Suggestions? I'm learning to cook... Ok, not so much cook as in "fry." Low on cash. Eating more at home. I don't know how to cook rice (help?) so I walk across the street to Chowking to buy rice and I cook... fry the main course at home. I'm past bacon, hotdogs, and chicken nuggets and have learned how to fry fish... My "Gayhood for Dummies" handbook left out a couple chapters: interior design, fashion, skin care, and cuisine. That's FOUR out of the FAB 5! They should seriously have Queer Eye for the Queer Guy. I'd be on top of the list. Sigh. I can name a million Tony award winners by heart. I've seen almost all of Barbra's concerts on video. I have Cher's greatest hits on CD. I love Britney Spears! But my room has no sense of design, my good clothes were all chosen by other people (and leave it to me to wear the ones that don't match), I don't cleanse, tone, and moisturize, and I can't cook! Last year, it used to matter a lot. I was also single. So being single and not having any of those four traits, I was a wreck. Funny, ya remove the singlehood, and the other four don't matter as much. Ya gotta eliminate the negative... accentuate the positive... Ooh, proud to be Filipino. Amazing Race travelled through our lovely country. Quite exciting. No one got eliminated, but la dee da... Happy Birthday May! rhapsody [
2:10 PM ]
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Wednesday, September 15, 2004
I am never buying PLDT vibe again... At One hundred pesos it says it'll give you twenty hours. But read the small print...
"Up to 20 hours internet hours when from 8pm to 8am, (P.08 a minute)" Which apparently tells you that if it's used between 8am to 8 pm, it's only worth THREE F!CKING HOURS! What kind of b@llsh#t is this? I had to call and find out when my card ran out so soon. You think those idiots of PLDT had enough money to not be ripping off prepaid internet card buyers. USELESS... Other than that, I'm sick today. Ugh. Bad headache. Throat hurts when I swallow. Coughing. Did I mention the headache? I hate being awake... Ugh. Been studying Merrily We Roll Along even more. Trying to work out Stephen Sondheim's tricks. Now if you don't know Sondheim, it's about time you do. Stephen Sondheim is one of the greatest people of the musical theater. He's written some of the most brilliant musicals of all time. His lyric writing skills are amazing, his insights incredible, and his music is fascinating. When given different situations all involving love... In the finale of Company, the afraid-of-commitment Robert finally gives in to all that comes in getting into a relationship... "Somebody hold me too close, somebody hurt me too deep. Somebody sit in my chair and ruin my sleep and make me aware of being alive... Somebody crowd me with love, somebody force me to care. Somebody make me come through, I'll always be there, as frightened as you, To help us survive being alive." In Saturday Night, a girl falls in love and it changes everything in the gloomy Brooklyn. "Once I hated this city, now it can't get me down Slushy, humid, and gritty... what a pretty town! What, thought I, could be duller? More depressing less gay? Now my favorite color... is gray!" In Little Night Music, a woman sings of love fading, "Everyday a little death, on the lips and in the eyes In the murmurs, in the pauses, the gestures, in the sighs Everyday a little a dies, in the looks and in the lies Every move and every breath and you hardly feel a thing Brings a perfect little death" From the musical Passion, when Giorgio, a handsome lieutenant, finally finds it in himself to fall in love with the sickly and ugly woman named Fosca, she replies in a letter, "Why is love so easy to give and so hard to receive? And though I want to live, I now can leave with what I never knew. I'm someone to be loved and that I learned from you..." In Merrily, Beth replies to her ex-husband Frank when he asks her, "do you still love me?" "Not a day goes by, not a single day That you're somewhere a part of my life, and it looks like you'll stay As the days go by, I keep thinking, when will it end?" When the show flashes back to Beth and Frank's wedding, we learn this is also their wedding song... but with different subtext. Sondheim is brilliant. Love these past two weeks have been... a ride. But it still comes back to the same smile... that's all that matters. I think I get too cheezy sometimes... Sigh. Maybe my next blog will be about hands... no, that's been done... I'll write about feet. Happy Birthday Che! rhapsody [
2:53 PM ]
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Friday, September 10, 2004
Merrily We Roll Along auditions... NOTES TO ANYONE GOING FOR AN AUDITION...
1. Sing happy love songs with a smile... Nothing quite like watching someone sing "I've never been in love before, now all at once it's you, it's you forevermore..." with the facial expression leaning towards the end of the world. 2. Come in knowing one song by heart... Don't ask the panel to choose from ALL the songs you know, which you should sing. 3. Memorize... If we can't see your eyes, we won't trust your sincerity. 4. Don't sway... The panel will get seasick. 5. Don't give up... Fight. Don't shoot yourself down. Confidence. The wrong notes you hit or the wrong lyrics you sing are never WRONG, they were ALWAYS written that way. 6. Don't sing duets... You'll confuse your panel. 7. Don't walk around... It won't help you sing better. 8. Do not audition with any song from Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, or Miss Saigon... They get old really fast. Choose an exciting song that takes the listener on a journey. Expand your broadway song collections, don't be part of the 38% of people who use On My Own. 9. Calm down... We're only judging you and making a decision that may or may not crush your self esteem. Just kidding... (no I'm not, but in spite of this, calm down). 10. An audition is not an absolute standard of talent... If we don't like you, doesn't mean you're not talented. 11. If you plan to quit if you don't get a lead, think about how such a decision will affect future casting opportunities... There's a lot to learn from being in ensemble, a lot. Just a couple notes really. Put your best foot forward at an audition. That's all really. "You there in the back row, love me, watch me sing my song for you!" Luckily, everyone who auditioned these past two days were ok to really good. My baby auditioned and did really well. Proud of him as always... Got a text from my sister in the States, she's doing well and I'm now quite excited for her trip there. Different being all alone on the second floor. No one to tell me that the bathroom floor is wet! Sigh. All's good. rhapsody [
3:09 PM ]
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
My younger sister left today. For the States. For an indefinite amount of time (I hate the term "for good") Since yesterday, I've been breaking down at the most random of moments. We dropped her off at the airport this morning and I got through it with just teary eyes but crashed in the car. Then in bed. And now as I write this. I gotta believe though that this is better for her. A new life. A change. Change sucks. Oh well. I've still got my older sister, who is also a wreck, and Andrei to keep me sane. Woooh. And to think I gotta panel at an audition in a couple hours. Nothing more frightening than auditioning in front of someone with tears and eyebags... I can see it now,
"Been working, so hard. I'm punching my card... " "...thank you *sniff*... that's fine. Don't... *sniff* call us, we'll *sniff* call you..." *confused expression on auditionee's face as pianist breaks down to the music of Footloose...* I feel like Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give... Get my mind of things for a while. Last couple days. Opening night of the Wiz over in Ateneo. My baby's in it. Lord High Underling. He's so cute onstage. He's craziness in a bottle. Dances with more energy than a million meralco posts. Funny thing I realized. I'm dating someone 7 years younger, but I don't feel older around him. Not having been out in college, I'm sort of getting that back in a weird way. Many times he calms me like he's the older one. I carry a lot of baggage. Which he knows exactly how to unpack. I'll need him more than ever these next couple of days... Oops, i digress... Closing weekend of Baby. For the Saturday matinee, I got to sub for keyboard 1. My first time to play with an orchestra. Huge thrill. Everyone knew how much this one show meant to me since it was the one solid moment where I became a part of the show which I had spent one whole month working on. So I got to lead the prayer with the cast before the show, then ran to the pit. At the end of the show, the coolest thing happened. After they acknowledge Gerard as Musical director, I looked up and saw many of the cast looking, clapping, and screaming towards ME. Who am I? Sigh. These are such wonderful people. Beautiful people. I'm just a lowly accounting student who got lucky. Cast party was tons of fun. Wish I knew how to upload pictures. So glad Andrei went with me. Got a picture with Lea! Finally a picture where she knows me! ha ha... I'm usually not into getting pictures with celebrities unless I've worked with them. But I got two pictures with Lea in the past. This is the coolest cause it means something. I've played for a Tony winner! Ha ha! And it was so great to go through the show with my best friend Topper, guardian angel Chari, super close friends Menchu, Cathy, Jun, and Manman, the gorgeous heart Agot and cool, cool, cool Jett. And having gotten to know "money notes" David, "fucks pigs" Miguel, mesmerizing beauty Christine and daddy Robie. And of course Bobby, who's endless tormenting has helped break the rock hard shell I used to live in. I'll miss everyone, but know that nobody's too far away... *sigh* ain't that the truth... even if they're in the states... i digress again... I wrote the new Heinz ketchup jingle. Kinda cool to have walked into Gloriette last Saturday night to hear it playing (they have a ketchup tour... don't ask). Oh, last Saturday, my bubu and I passed the 8th month mark. Ralph treated us to dessert and conversation at Gloria Jean's makati. 8 months. It's been mostly smooth sailing, sometimes turbulent, sometimes we got lost, but that's love. Highs and lows. Tears and laughter. But happy ever after. I love you honeyLiPs... God willing we hit nine, which means we could've had a baby...baby, baby... Anyhoo, on to the next musical...I feel like Diane Keaton from SOmething's Gotta Give... Waaah... but at least i'm feeling the urge to write... Merrily We Roll Along. Auditions today. A lot of good talent I know is auditioning, so it'll boil down to the better actors. I love this show so I can't wait to get started. Bending with the road... Life. Glass half full. Home is where the heart is. Life is all about what you choose to see. The reality you accept. Defy gravity. Live life for yourself as well as others. Know when to fly. Sometimes things that happen for good are for good. Gotta trust that someone up there knows exactly what He is doing. Joy, lots of new roads ahead of you. Whatever direction you take, enjoy the view. Know that if you need to, just tap your heels together three times. Angel and I will miss you tons... oh and Chloe too (*bye bye juy*) Love you. Don't text, it's too expensive to text back. Email. Friendster. Call, just not collect. And apologize if you hit someone. God bless. Mwah! Leaving you with lyrics from my musical of the moment "Wicked"... (ooh! stab in heart) FOR GOOD, music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason Bringing something we must learn and we are led To those who help us most to grow if we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good It well may be that we will never meet again In this lifetime so let me say before we part So much of me is made of what I learned from you You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart And now whatever way our stories end I know you have re-written mine by being my friend Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea Like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you I have been changed for good Who can say if I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better. And because I knew you, I have been changed for good. rhapsody [
4:45 AM ]
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Friday, September 03, 2004
Last night, I received the full score of a musical I start working on soon. The show is called Merrily We Roll Along. It tells the story of three friends, Mary, Frank, and Charley. Hard to say if it's a happy ending or not cause the story is told in reverse. Let me explain...
It begins in the present, at a party where we meet Frank- a movie exec and once-upon-a-time theater composer, Mary- a fat, drunk, jaded woman, and you hear about a guy named Charley. It's a pretentious after-a-movie-premiere party. We see the distance between these three people. How ugly and complicated their adult lives are. "Some roads are soft and some are bumpy, some roads you really fly. Some rides are rough and leave you jumpy Why make it tough by getting grumpy? Plenty of roads to try... " The story in reverse brings us through the journey of their friendship and we see that they weren't always like this. A high point is their tribute to their bond in a song called "Old Friends" "Good friends, point out your lies where as Old friends, live and let live Good friends, 'like' and 'advise' where as Old friends , 'love' and 'forgive'..." The show ends with the three of them meeting for the first time on a rooftop, singing a beautiful song all about possibilities. A song called "Our Time." "Years from now, we'll remember and we'll come back Buy the rooftop and hang a plaque, this is where we began... Being what we can" That's the show in a nutshell. There's divorce, infidelity, a hit musical, a heart-wrenching wedding, and tons of other events in between which allows the audience to understand why the opening scene is the way it is. But see what I mean? It's a happy ending cause of the beautiful friendship on the stage which closes the show. But knowing what it becomes years down the road... *sigh* Was it worth it? If you knew something wasn't gonna last, would you invest? The ending was at first reaction, disturbing. Like looking at a baby you know will turn into Charles Manson. Like seeing blue prints for a ship to be named Titanic. If you wanna have weddings then you gotta have divorces? Innocence doesn't last? Is this what the show is saying?... No. I realized that at the core of the show is its message about friendship. A huge part of friendship is the timing. When someone comes into your life when the timing is right, it's the most beautiful thing. Everything is about support, love, possibilities, memories, moments... However, sometimes people come into your life when the timing is wrong. They then end up staying and being as important as a yellow toe nail, leaving or being shoved out the door, or leaving then knocking when the timing is better. Looking back at the number of friends who have come in and out the stage door of my life, I realize that there's a huge difference between "Never meant to be" and "Never meant to last". The friendship in the show was just not meant to last. Doesn't make it a sad ending. Just knowing such a bond existed and was so beautiful before it wilted makes it all worth it. Too many people quit before starting cause they're so sure of the ending, not realizing that the ending isn't always the point. Clever musical, it gave you the ending first... get the picture? "friendship is like a garden... you have to water it and tend it and care about it." P.S. Good luck tonight baby! ...ease on down, ease on down the road... | |||||||||||||